I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Non-Jews are for practice
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i drank out of a bidet.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You are the jesus of drinking
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
