Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize