I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
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