Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
YAS. BRING CRAB.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
