Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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