What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
