So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
