You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
