So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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