We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
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You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
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Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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