He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I am puke
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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