ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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