He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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