your parents love me but you hate me
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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