It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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