the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize