While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
