This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
