Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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