if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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