if you like me you must not know who I am
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
