let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize