i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
