Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
