she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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