fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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