Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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