jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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