Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
