as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
