would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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