come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
