Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I want to make a zoo with you.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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