Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
