my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
