Duck Duck Cougar?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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