is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
