your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
