You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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