I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
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Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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