it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Hello my rib-scented angel!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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