u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
