i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
