I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
