you would pick up someone in the library
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Drake has all the answers
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
