I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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