i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
