Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
