I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
