You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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