The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
