Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
