Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
