Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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