I just made out with a guy for $7.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Randomize
