He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
