dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
