i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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