I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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