Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
