the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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