One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
