She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
