she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
